Baiting Siri

Anybody with a reasonably modern iPhone now has Siri standing at the ready to help. For those of you who have actually mastered the use of Siri - well done!

I find Siri somewhat limited. Half my queries go right over her head and I end up having to type my questions in as if she wasn't there. And you don't want to piss her off by insulting her capabilities because the next time you say "set the alarm for 6am tomorrow" she will probably quietly set it for 7pm a week from Thursday just to get even. 

And it's remarkably easy to confuse Siri. I mostly do it by simply asking her to search for something - the answers she comes up with! Hilarious. And wrong virtually every time (the Google lady is much more accurate). 

So, I spend my time baiting Siri. Like asking her to tell me the name of a song on the car radio while she is watching the phone line. She sort of smokes a little and dials a random number. 

Always good for a laugh while driving. 

The Visiminder

You are looking at a still from that grand scifi movie The Invasion of the Body Snatchers. A surprisingly domestic scene for a movie about alien invaders, I just had to take this shot for the stove. 

Yes, the stove. It was 1956. Tappan had just introduced this fine stove, the Visiminder. You'll note the burners are to the back, affording some convenient workspace up front for utensils and such. And unlike way too many modern stoves, the controls are up front, not on the back panel where you have to reach over whatever is cooking to adjust them. 

In addition, the stove had two ovens, a broiler, a "Visitimer," a "Visiguide" (a quick reference guide right there on the stove for the correct temperature for various meats) and 5 (count 'em) pilots. 

How do I know all this? You're no doubt thinking my family had one while I was growing up. Not so!

It was the stove in my current home in 1985 when we bought it. It was still going strong. 

You Rang, Sir

I miss this. The butler - no doubt named Jeeves or Hobson or some such - appearing 'on your six' quietly wondering what he could do to satisfy your current whim. Or you giving the bellpull in the drawing room a quick tug for a refill of your postprandial brandy. 

I say I miss that, but of course, 'missing' suggests I ever had it. Sadly, only in my dreams. Many curmudgeons WISH we had faithful butlers, but we do not. We are way too cheap. 

And thus, Sainted wives - a tad mercurial, but they have their moments. 

There Will Always Be The New Yorker

When Pictures Say 1,000 Words

Cowboys & Indians

You no doubt suspect that, because of our age, we old fart curmudgeons are fans of classic 1950s Cowboy & Indian movies. Nothing could be further from the truth.

In addition to being incredibly lame, these movies merely serve to remind us of a very sorry chapter in our history...unless you're into manifest destiny and ethnic cleansing and all.

To see them pop up on TV - with or without John Wayne - is just an unpleasant reminder of how insensitive American thinking was even in the 1950s: Cowboys were always the good guys and those pesky Indians the bad guys.
       

Let's face it - the only worthy Cowboys & Indians show was F Troop.

They Still "Drive" In Massachusetts

Lest we ever forget what it is to drive in Massachusetts, I have obtained a top-secret instructional document from their driving test.

It speaks for itself.

So, should you be innocently driving about and you encounter this sign:

                   

Be afraid. Be very afraid.