BIG NEWS

As a curmudgeon, I can whine with the best of them. And, after a lot of whining, I GOT THE USE OF THE CURMUDGEON REPOR SITE BACK. 

So you can let this site go - all future action will be back on familiar Curmudgeon Repor turf: Curmudgeonrepor.blogspot.com. 

Sorry for all the interim confusion. Blame fractious curmudgeons. 

Pneumatic Tubes

We old farts fondly remember those magical vacuum tube systems in department stores. The kindly sales lady filled out your purchase form, took your money, placed it in a space-age doohickey and whoosh it would zip away. 

I never thought much of where it zipped. All I knew was that your change would come whizzing back and off you'd go. 

For a kid, it was magic. Clearly, for the central operator, it was Frankenstein. 

Monkeys

I've been on the web again. Apparently, these twins ordered monkeys, having collected the right amount of cereal box tops. 

The poor monkeys arrived in plain cardboard boxes, apparently an acceptable packaging scheme of the day. Astonishingly they do seem in generally good health. 

The kid on the right is rightly happy with his monkey, which looks robust. The kid on the left got one that seems to be  clinging to life. But these little guys were tossed in packages, thrown on a ship aimed for the U.S. Of A. 

These were the 20s. Anything goes. 

Tiger, the Wonder Cat

Curmudgeons aren't big on feelings and emotions and all that crap. 

But there is Tiger, the Wonder cat. He is 10 years old today. He rules the universe, he commands the neighborhood, indoors he plays like a kitten. 

He is beyond belief. The local vet can't get him to stop purring long enough for a heart test. 

Heart test? This little guy is beyond that. He's a trouper, and, like we curmudgeons, not about to quit. 

They Still Permit Massachusetts Driving

Although I ran across this picture wandering the Internet and its location wasn't specified, I just know, deep down in my soul, that it was taken in Massachusetts. 

Last week I revealed the secret instructions all Massachusetts drivers receive, so it would come as no surprise whatsoever that some enterprising driver managed this feat. 

There is just no way to hide from them. 

Stadium Sound

It's the sixties. You are the most popular rock & roll group in the world. You are playing Shea stadium in New York. Apparently a big thing in the 60s.

I'm talking about, of course, the Beatles. They played their hearts out. And they couldn't hear each other over the screaming fans.

Re-read that last bit: they couldn't hear each other.

They, before "wall of sound" technology, had guitars plugged into those little speaker boxes. And used them to the max. But, we're talking a stadium filled with screaming fans, and the band's sound couldn't drown out the fan's sound.

Ringo once said he just smiled and banged away, hoping he was at least close to the singing. 

Beautiful. 

Baiting Siri

Anybody with a reasonably modern iPhone now has Siri standing at the ready to help. For those of you who have actually mastered the use of Siri - well done!

I find Siri somewhat limited. Half my queries go right over her head and I end up having to type my questions in as if she wasn't there. And you don't want to piss her off by insulting her capabilities because the next time you say "set the alarm for 6am tomorrow" she will probably quietly set it for 7pm a week from Thursday just to get even. 

And it's remarkably easy to confuse Siri. I mostly do it by simply asking her to search for something - the answers she comes up with! Hilarious. And wrong virtually every time (the Google lady is much more accurate). 

So, I spend my time baiting Siri. Like asking her to tell me the name of a song on the car radio while she is watching the phone line. She sort of smokes a little and dials a random number. 

Always good for a laugh while driving.